  Date: May 24, 2004 02:43 AM Subject: RE: here’s my response to your blog Body: hello :) i have always prayed for peace of mind despite the pain. but faith for me lately has been futile. though i know that i have to act on my situation the soonest way possible, i opted not to, yet.
i wanted a natural healing and i wanted to be sincere. i consider now as the only time and again, I am thankful for this opportunity. the reaction i had with your attempt to be friendly with me before was all too clouded with dismay. i didn't want the immediate world around me to be affected with the kind of hell that i was experiencing then.
so, i lived and loved life as if it was the most perfect gift prepared for me. i always believed that it was the path that i have to take no matter how many turns or re-routing i've done. i am and will be proud of myself because it sure made me happy and contented. however, you were the immediate person who became the outlet of pain that's why every single deed be it good or bad, has always made me tick. and yes, even your existence. well, i also agreed with you about the fondness we had for each other even before i composed the hate mail.
shared that with my best friend and neither of us could understand why. the sole reason why i sent u that mail was to give myself enough space to breath and heal. you were so ready for us to be friends* and i was the annoyed person who's counting from one to ten.
apparently, i needed more counts than ten :) *i have to thank you for your effort to be friendly despite and in spite of everything because when my it was my turn to make one really came in easy especially when i realized that i was really ready. thanks for the update. actually, gigi and j have been updating me with joel's whereabouts every time we go out with the rest of our orgmates. they didn't have to tell me those stories about him but they did it as if it was the most natural thing to do.
though they've been working on seeing us as two different entities now,as two of our common friends, they couldn't help it but feel concerned for us. so i know about his being a "news man" in anc . being involved in media has always been joel's inclination, if not his first love/passion. so i am glad he's finally made it. :) i'm sorry to hear about your health. perhaps your guardian angel also prodded me to finally let you know my long overdue forgiveness.
Well, let us thank God for His perfect timing. I will pray for your complete recovery, for joel to be more inspired and strengthened in taking care of you, and to live his dreams for both of you. illnesses come in many ways so i must admit that your response has also made me feel better. love, may 
