  Odd nostalgia tonight. I spent a while going through the old blog, focusing on my summer writings, stuff I did at TIP...and I'm impressed with my abilities.
Maybe it's because the writing supplements the memories, or maybe it's because I've worked out a good casual rhetoric...but if I can do that, hopefully a screenplay isn't out of the mix. Or a novel. I've realized that sadness, longing, a lack of completeness and a knowledge of that is vital to good writing.
A writer needs emotion. One of the things that saddened me the most on my trip to California was seeing that my dad wasn't living. He was breathing, and he was drinking, but the life was void...the eyes sullen, with nothing to offer. And it's easy to get into that mindset...life is tough, the easiest way to do something is the way that things are usually done, and for me to be successful I need to do more than is expected of me. So I need to feel. And if that means to walk down the olden days a while, I can do it. But I think it means I'll give old Taylor a call. I met Taylor at Tripper's benefit for his friend last month, and got her number...it was quite casual, and when I called her the first time she was still in Dallas.
I wasn't going to try again, but what'll it hurt if I come off as intense? It's better than not coming off at all. I'm not used to dating people that I don't know. I've done it a bit out here in Austin, and I haven't been good at it yet. I really mastered the Rogers High School/Centenary College style of relationship, where you get to know someone over time, learn their schedule not because you're a stalker but because it's public knowledge, hang out a bit and make the slow move.
Slow move doesn't work in Austin, because there's too much going on and you'll just get pushed out of the way. It's a busy city, but a very lonely city if you don't make things happen. I feel better about a lot of things than I have in a good while.
So it's time to just suck it up, make a few phone calls, get a few numbers, and hope that one of the calls turns into some good conversation over cafe au laits, a movie at my place, and several hours of hot necking that stop not because we had sex but because the sun came up. It's going to take some time to get back into the blogging madness. It's been a long time. The practice is going to be good for me, but the entries will be weak for a while.
I haven't written in months. I've gotten overly political. I am going to spend a lot of time alone this semester. Hopefully I'll spend a lot of time with people too. 
