  these are the hardest hours.... when you wake up in the middle of the night and your heart is heavy. chinese new year means something to me; that or it's a factor in making me feel further down and alone. k is asleep and it would be insensitive to wake her to be clingy. i'm not slated for a talk with p until another twenty-four odd so hours so i feel like he's off-limits. sk that i would finally open up to right now when i feel so down has not called after my message to call me back hours ago.
too bad -- he missed his chance to listen in my issues. why when i chose to do something that makes my family pleased (to spend this occasion at home) do i feel like such a party-pooper and a loser and all alone? sleep is usually my answer because if it comes (it did for an hour), it may last until the morning and in the morning everything always seems more optimistic. but all of a sudden i'm an insomniac . happy new year!! urlLink read more.... 
