  Morning All, here is a piss poor attempt of humor on the 1st day of May 2003. This didn't make me laugh as im a sick old git who only laughs at someone elses fuck ups like falling down a flight of stairs and breaking their neck. Anyway, another bank holiday is almost upon us which means time to get those beer drinking caps out and start drinking lots of beer followed by taking the piss out of all the stuck up bitches who live in our great Island of Jersey, 'Sorry sweatpea, you could handle this much fun while you have you're own head stuck up your arse.
Make sure you wash your mouth out with soap as i don't like the taste of shit in my mouth'. Anyway: Why did the chicken cross the road? GEORGE W. BUSH We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here. COLIN POWELL Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
HANS BLIX We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road. MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador) The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken. SADDAM HUSSEIN This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
DR. SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told. ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die. In the rain. Alone. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of moulting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road. JOHN LENNON Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace. RONALD REAGAN What chicken? CAPTAIN KIRK To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it? SIGMUND FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. BILL GATES I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your cheque book - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken. ALBERT EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken? BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please? COLONEL SANDERS I missed one? CAPTAIN KIRK signing off :o) 
