  So we went out last night to see Return of the King, and my god did it rock! I was worried that after the Matrix has so badly tarnished the whole trilogy thing, it was going to suck ass.
But the highlights of it were: Aragorn opening a can of whup-ass (TM) at the Orcs, running into battle with all these dead dudes giving it Casper the not-so-friendly-ghost action. Smeagol getting his head staved in by fat Sam with a rock. Kirk's bladder making a strange hissing noise as he crying with pain but not going for a piss.
Gandalf fighting with a staff and a sword, he make look like some hippy reject from the 60's but he's as tough as vindalooed mutton. Liv Tyler. Custard going out for a piss, coming back and taking the shortcut by stepping over two rows of chairs to avoid the entire row standing up. A noble gesture except he lost his balance and went arse over tit with a loud thump and a whimper, and the entire cinema laughed at him.
HOW FUCKING FUNNY WAS THAT!!! ROTFL!! We went out afterwards for some booze, but town was full of puss-faced 16 year olds trying to get into Liquid, so we decided to call it a night. 
