  May 26, 2004 OK, so I’m not really writing this on Day Three. It’s actually Day Four, but I was too bummed and overwhelmed and tired to write yesterday, even though I really wanted to. It’s just that by the time I had a moment to sit down, it was late and I knew I should really be in bed.
So I went to bed, instead. Day Three was kind of shitty, truth be told. I did pretty well in the morning – I had oatmeal, if I recall correctly. Then I made the mistake of starting in on the ‘yogurt’ raisins I bought for Henry (which are essentially candy). Then my mom showed up with oatmeal cookies studded with milk chocolate chips for Henry – a big container of them. I silently cursed her kindness, because I knew that spelled trouble for me. Anyway, I went to see the doctor and learned that I was down a whole whopping three fucking measly pounds since last November when he saw me last. God. Damn. It. Of course I had my blood drawn again, so it remains to be seen if my cholesterol has improved any. After the fabulous result from the scale, I’m not holding my breath for good news in the bloodwork department, either. I’m also going to have a stress test to be on the safe side, since I’ve been achy and tired of late, and I’d rather not drop dead of a heart attack if at all possible, ha ha ha. Needless to say, this was a giant downer. I came home starving because I hadn’t had a mid-morning mini-meal and I was waaaay late for lunch, and so I wound up wolfing something like eight or nine of those cookies with a couple of big glasses of skim milk.
Then there were some yogurt raisins, and probably something else I’ve blocked out. I was really on a roll, so I stopped myself the only way I knew how: I made a plate of the leftover broiled chicken and steamed broccoli and ate it. I could’ve kept eating those processed carbs until midnight with no stopping me, but one big plate of solid food stopped me cold. I could not even entertain the idea of another bite. I did have dinner – a hodge-podge salad with turkey bacon and greens and red pepper and mushrooms and croutons and whatnot, and I was pretty good after that, I think.
(How pathetic is it that I can’t remember for sure, right off the top of my head? ) Oh, and I forgot to mention it but I did get up at 5am to do my lower body weighted workout. It was hard, very hard. I know I’ve lost a little ground on the thigh ad/ab machines. I used to be able to lift more weight without conking out. I didn’t do all of my sit-ups, though. I was really shaky when I got back from the rec center and I managed 22, total. About a third of what I should do, I think. I told myself I’d do them later and never did. (Shocking, I know! ) 
