  For once, I'd like to just be happy. Not tentatively happy, knowing in the back of my mind that a bad time will soon effectively eclipse the good.
Not cautiously optimistic. Not "not bad". Not "okay". Happy. Like, fuckin' delirious man. Untouchable. Invincible. Unstoppable. Amazing. Without drugs, of course. Just so you know. And I don't want any of my life comforts to change, either. Like, I don't want one (or more) of those shitty things to happen that eventually become something cool, and in retrospect you guess you're happy about it, but while it happens you almost feel like killing yourself.
Not that. I just want to feel good. To smile because I want to, not because some tactless assclown tells me I "look so much prettier when I smile". I want, for once, to not fear what the future holds. And to not dwell on the hatreds of my past. And I don't want some jackass spouting post-modern philosphies at me like I give a shit. 
