  there's nothing more upsetting than waking up to a particularly nasty horoscope in your inbox: "Your luck finally runs out. Think twice before going against common sense. If you're caught in the act of wrongdoing, this time the accusation will stick. " the extended version wasn't much better: "There's sudden change and a wave of what could be excuses or explanations. Any kind of big shakeup serves as a loyalty test. Do you even know the person who claims to be your new best friend?
Try to get your bearings in a familiar room that was just redecorated or repurposed. Were you consulted about this? Maybe someone asked and you forgot about it. Don't let your mood run away with you. Avoid trivializing or lashing out at people that aren't directly related to your problem. You need their help more than you need their anger.
" I'm a bit unsettled because I'm having lunch with Johnnie today...to talk. a great confusing mess erupted not long after I professed to myself just how much I really liked the guy. all day Friday I couldn't shake this horrible sensation that karma was kicking me around...I sure wish I knew why. I'm prepping myself for come what may, but I'm just sick over the fact that the stars are convinced this is going to be one bad day for Joe Sullivan. after reading those two predictions, I couldn't help my thirst for more details...could you? I looked up my romance horoscope, and its outlook was equally grim: "Your feelings for someone you had been close to may suddenly change on Sunday, but you may not know how to end it gracefully.
Angry outbursts will do the trick, but you're bound to say something you'll regret. Rather than cutting things off abruptly, ask for some time to think things over. " at least I know one thing going into this, my feelings for Johnnie have changed. I dig him more than ever. I figure that's got to be worth something...at the very least it makes me think hope isn't completely lost. it's also a good thing that my Astrologer plans ahead...next week's outlook has a ray of promise, but if the stars hold any truth to them it would seem I'll have to beg this guy to stay with me.
I'm going batty trying figure out what he wants to talk about...I'm not even certain it's about me. ugh. If I'm not neurotic by the end of the day it will be a miracle...well, maybe not a miracle. I'm lucky. I have a pretty reational head on my shoulders most of the time. it hasn't come easy for me, a person whose emotions run like a powerful undercurrent just below the surface of my eyes.
I've learned to watch the reactions of my heart before letting them loose. but I'll be the first to admit that this could blow up in our faces if we're not careful. nobody likes losing in the name of love, but it certainly isn't worth breaking someone's heart to prevent it. if those were your choices, what would you do? I've had my heart broken plenty of times...enough to never be able to take pride in doing it to someone else. there's no dignity in that for me, a guy who wears his heart just beneath his jacket.
you could say it's there on my sleeve, but with a little protection. sometimes I need a little shielding from the elements... I woke up really early this morning, which means I'm nervous. I'm also a bit surprised that I'm not hungover, given that one of my teammates served me a rediculous amount of tequila last night. One of the guys is moving to Washington D.C. next week and he made it his goal to get as many of his friends drunk as possible. I had to hang out at our team captain's place for about an hour before I felt okay to drive.
I really don't remember drinking much water that night, but here it is...10 in the morning and I've been up for nearly two hours. I'm tense, but even that hasn't given me a headache this morning. putting thoughts into words helps. there's a device in the Harry Potter books called a Pensieve, which allows its user to pull thoughts out of their head and place them in a bowl. that's the kind of item I would find extremely useful...if it actually existed. Bhuddists spend a great deal of time learning how to empty thoughts from their mind in order to see things clearly.
it is a skill that is much easier to describe than to actually do, requiring a strong, quiet mind that understands how to let go of something and find it again later when it is truly needed. I could use an empty head right now, going into what I imagine to be a real test of how I feel about this guy. right now, I feel he's worth fighting for. I hope that by the end of this afternoon Johnnie feels the same way about me. whatever the outcome, it's good to know I can depend on the rational side of my soul to kick in when I need it. I'm just really wishing I didn't need it today. 
