  Yesterday I went to my fathers house. We had yet another falling out, about the same thing that we always have fallout about anymore. My uncle did things to me as a child of a perverted nature. I did not start to recall these events until I was pregnant with my first child.
I had completely blocked them out all these years (which is fairly common from what I have been told) My grandmother enabled the entire situation. My whole family hates me for saying these things. They have convinced themselves that somehow because of my bi-polar that I have concocted these stories from my illness, and they are not really true. I wish that were true. I wish I could say I am nuts. I wish I could say that because then I could get on a pill that would make these nasty images flee from my mind. I am losing everything. I have lost my dignity, my pride, my extended family, my credibility (because of their insistence in finding a reason not to believe me), I am loosing my mind.
I have now lost my father. Its not like he hates me. And he dosent understand my dissmissal of him. To me it is obvious. If you can choose anyone over your child on something as serious as this, that in itself is a problem.
But to dig deeper. Lets pretend that isn't the issue. If he can live in this denial about what happened to me, if he can dismiss my allagation and be so ballsy to have a 15 min conversation with him within ear shoot of me while I am over visiting and my kids are running about-If he can talk to that man and pretend like nothing happened- I am left to assume one of two things for the safety of my children and my sanity: 1. He was molested as a child and/or mentally abused to the point to not question this form of brutality and continue to respect his family despite what laws they break.
2. He literally dosen't believe me, and therefore ignores the seriousness of the problem and will remain wreckless in his dealings with me and my children. If either of these are true my father, as much as it pains me to say this, He is not appropriate to be around me in my fragile state of mind. I mean I just got out of the hospital in Feb. And he is not appropriate to be around my children.
If something wee to happen to them in his care-he would never deal with it or tell me. If this offends him, thats too bad because I have children to watch out for and respecting someone who has never once in my life given me an ounce of respect, I am surely not going to sacrifice my health and my families health to save his pride. Thats what they are doing for My Uncle Doug now. Am I insane for that! ? 
