  Don't Do It urlLink THIS + urlLink THIS + urlLink THIS = DA KRACKEN!!! Listen. If you want to unleash the urlLink Kracken or make yourself turn into the Incredible Hulk on acid, drink that shit! Ya might wanna put it on ice, but um...that shit is a throat burner. Okay so I went to get my hair retwisted yesterday. Yall know my hairdresser, Sparkle?
Last night was the eve of her birthday. So after my hair was finished, she just HAD to get her drink on. So we went to see Evermean at her PT gig (liquor store) and got hooked up on a cupla bottles. Came back 'round my mother's way, urrybody was on the block, and it was OUN. The last time I had the Incredible Hulk, I called Earl on the big white phone. Yeh.
That's after blowning my first set of chunks all over 395 while Sparkle's brother was doin 65 mph. But that time I was drinking on an empty stomach and had smoked on top of that. But THIS TIME I'm smarter! Yeh! I'll add 99 Apples to it! Yeh!
Brilliant! So we're out there being the bastards we normally are. A few more fellas from around there came by to chill with us. Folks were bringing Sparkle bottles on top of bottles of liquor for her bday. We had shit spread all over the hood of the car. Okay you know you are a drunk when you buy 6 cups and a little tight assed sandwich bag of ice at the liquor store.
lol. There were little packs of six cups and ice bags everywhere! So in front of my mom's house, we get totally shitfaced. Out dere on da curb. I didn't really think I was drunk (after two) so my sister passed me "dat" and I just HAD to get my puff on. Why?????????????
Why??????????? Oh lawd why?????????? The agreement was that we were going to go to Tom Tom to see Tini DJ. They were having hip hop night. First, the fellas went down awf da, "I'm going home! Yall crazy!
" Then I fell off. I coud barely stand up and it was asshole time. When I can't feel my lips, it's asshole time for Nona! Trust dat. When I'm in asshole mode, the Hump Jones come down. I told Sparkle at midnight I was gonna do a Skeet Skeet dance in front of all deez black folks.
She put the headlights on me and shit and I made a complete idiot of myself..lol. I knew it was gonna get ugly so I should take my ass home. Mom's and Pop's done seen me fucked up. Looking at me all crazy. Dad's trying to examine my eyes and shit and I'm like, "PUTCHA HANDS OUN ME DEN NUKKA!!! " LOL He knows how hard we go so it kills me when he wanna be all nosey and shit.
The Kracken was unleashed, but I figured I'd leave before the Monkey came. That's when you need to be arrested. I called Evermean and told her I wasn't goin' out with the crew. I didn't think Sparkle and my sister were going either cuz Sparkle was twisted!!! Evermean came to pick me up and I remember on the entire ride home, I'm just TALKING AND TALKING AND TALKING AND LAUGHING. When I got out of the car, I was one wobbly bitch.
Evermean's justa smiling, looking at me like, "Yooz mine bitch!!"..lol. And I'm looking at her like, "Yes I'm izzzzzzzz" When we got in the house I felt like a headliner at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch. I just wanted to stick playing cards all over my naked body, roll around on the bed singing, "If I Give You My Heart and a Diamond, Will You to Club Me With a Spade! " LOL! Or maybe give her my best crack head pose and sing, "I've Got the Hungries for Your Love and I'm Waiting in Your Welfare Line". Yeh, I was feeling SAUCY!!!
Maaaaan I woke up this morning naked. Not a stitch of clothes on. Evermean was awf da, "Goooood Mawnin! ", smilin' and shit. She claims ain't nuffin happen. Right.
LOL!!!!! ! 
