  urlLink Relieved So I was pleasantly surprised by my GRE scores today--620 on the verbal and 510 on the math! I am so relieved, because I had feared that due to time constraints and our recent family emergency, I would not do well on the exam. Plus, I didn't sleep at all last night. Not one hour. Nervousness about my impending date with destiny kept me awake every hour on the hour until I got up at a quarter til seven. I must have taken that test running on pure adrenaline. I am so happy and relieved now; this is one less burden I have to carry, and I can rest assured that I have a very decent shot at getting into my top grad school choices with my GRE score in conjunction with my GPA.
This day was bittersweet. Brandi had her 40+ staples removed, and has an appointment at MD Anderson next week for another opinion about her prognosis. Unfortunately, I'm not expecting this 3rd opinion to be any different from the first two. Brandi also asked her neurosurgeon an unexpected question: she wanted to know exactly how she was going to die. This question is actually very in line with her character--she is a very optimistic person, but she is also realistic (and stubborn sometimes, too ;-). Some people in this situation refuse to believe that they are going to die; Brandi knows that she is, and that it will be soon--but by the same token she has a solid faith by which to stand upon and face the inevitable.
The way I see it, she wants to know exactly what kind of situation to expect. I don't want to get into the gory details, but basically with malignant brain tumors, the brain eventually just shuts down. "The body cannot live without the mind", as Morpheus said from The Matrix. The good news from all of this (if one could actually view it as good) is that her ultimate end should be peaceful; she'll eventually slip into a coma. That was hard to write. But more and more, as I turn to the Bible for some comfort, I am realizing in my heart that death is but one path that we all must take.
Even burying her is not the end game, because I trust in the Lord enough to know that we will meet again--in a different time and place, when all the evil, tears, and sorrow of this world have passed and all that is left is the good. We will meet again. But not yet. 
