  In the spirit of avoiding homework, here's a scary story for all you youngsters out there. First off, my parents have more friends than I do. This group of hellions is known as urlLink "The Gang. " The Gang gets together every Friday night to cause trouble at some Quad-Cities' hangout. It consists of six couples - The Emmersons, the Lenzes, the Lauritsens, the Kipps, the Bereskins and, of course, my parents. Two of those people were once my teachers.
Four are parents of my friends. One is a bearded lady. Anyway, The Gang was at my house Friday night, having a pizza party and nuclear martinis. At this party, the following things happened: 1. My mother called to ask me if my sleepover was loud, but it turned out she was louder. 2.
Penny Lane took a beer out of the cooler and dropped it at the back door for the boys (because the boys and girls never hang out together - when they're in a restaurant, they sit at opposite ends of the table). She's a multi-talented dog. 3. My mother sang and danced in the family room, supposedly by herself. 4. My dad told her to "settle down.
" She's a wild woman, my mother. Now don't think my dad isn't without his own problems - he's painting the floor of our garage to look like a showroom for his Audi TT. (Yes, we realize he's the coolest person in the world. Yes, it's hard to live up to his greatness. No, I will not help clean the garage when I come home in two weeks. ) Since we're talking about the people who spawned me, here's a top 10 list of Buel family moments: 1.
"Kristin Buel's All-Request Hour," which consists of me singing the tribal part of Paul Simon's Graceland at the top of my lungs. 2. The three of us spending the night in a bed with two pillows after arriving in Chicago at 4 a.m. during the "Storm of the Century. " My mom had no coat, I was sunburned from the Mexico sun, and my dad yelling at us to be quiet in the bed at Howard Johnson's. Then he said "Goodnight, Johnboy," and my mom laughed so hard she almost fell out of bed. 3.
Even though I wasn't there, the "Strangers in the Night" story. My parents got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. The lights were off, and when they came back, they ran smack into each other, full force. My dad started singing "Strangers in the Night. " 4. Trying to find Rigazzi's in St. Louis every Christmas Eve.
Here's a tip: DON'T take Elizabeth. 5. Teaching Penny how to swim. 6. Watching movies in the basement. My mom can't work the DVD player and my dad has to make sure we have the right English setting.
Penny crawls onto my lap but leaves one paw on the floor because then she's technically still on the ground. 7. Trying to climb the icy driveway after bowling league. My dad finally had to get a hose from the garage to help me and my mom get up the rest of the way. 8. Watching Maggie (and now Penny) opening her Christmas presents.
9. Thanksgiving morning: Mom gets up at the buttcrack of dawn to start cooking, Dad works in the basement and I play with the dog. The parade comes on and Dad and I watch it. We eat Thanksgiving dinner in about 10 minutes and then go to a movie and have pie when we come home. It's my favorite day. And my favorite moment: 10.
Coming home. Everyone cries, even the dog. 
