  Today wasn't bad, (example, we played pictionary in Hagan's math, don't know what the sub, a senile retirement-age woman, thought of it), but I'm not going into detail...I was bored, so I did a test-fire of the TCS advice column. Ask Mr. Four, Round One: Dear Mr. Four, I started seeing this girl a month ago, and last week we kissed. It got to be a lot more than just that later, but then she told me that she has a boyfriend and stuff. My question is this: Should I pathetically call her daily and bug her online until she can't take it anymore, forget her, kill her, or kill myself ? -Unsure Unsure : All of the above, since you obviously are too stupid to figure out the most logical answer. Mr. Four, I'm seventeen and I'm a Power Rangers fan.
Unfortunately, there isn't any fan apparel left for me to buy. What should I do? -P.R. (for life! ) Fan Power Ranger fan , Grow up. Now.
Mr. Four: I have three major tests next week...I also have to show up for a Counterstrike match for my UltraPowerfulManiacs clan, all day Saturday and Sunday. Should I study or blow up my friends online? -Puzzled (Message has been edited from l337 language to something more legible) Puzzled: CounterStrike, you idiot. Mr. Four, I need your help. In the afternoons in 5th and 6th period, I get the uncontrollable urge to rip one. All the time, too.
But I always worry about what people would think if I did. If you were me, what would you do? -Lonny Bergerman, sophomore Lonny: At least you didn't give the rest of us a face to go with the name. Dear Mr. Four, I'm a freshman girl with a senior boyfriend. Well, He's a senior with three girlfriends, and I'm the only one who knows he's 3-timin them. I think he needs to be castrated.
What do you think? -Very angry freshman Little freshman girl, Who cares? Kazoo Four, commonly known as Mr. Four, is a nationally syndicated columnist. Well, that's all the questions I have time to answer now...be sure to come back later for next week's edition of...Ask Mr. Four! Or, if you're so eager to get some advice, leave a message. 
