  Recently I've been noticing alot about "couples. " I'm not exactly sure what brought all this revelating on, my guess is endless classes on divorce and spousal/child support, but with a divorce rate of more than 50%, coupled with the fact that children of divorce are more than 3 times more likely to get divorced themselves (meaning the problem likely isn't getting any better soon), it merits at least some thought. I think I'm at the age where people are getting itchy trigger fingers. When you're younger, say from 18-23, things seem pretty relaxed. (Now let me just qualify that age group a little by saying that I'm from a social group where the age of "adulthood" seems to be later in life. Heck, I have freinds who are 25 or older that haven't lived outside of their parents house yet, and myself I'm 25 and still in school.
I would guess that this age would be significantly lower for the graduate high school, enter into a career type social group. ) Anyhow, at 18-23 nobody seems too worried they'll "never find that special someone". You're young, your life is in flux, gravity hasn't negatively impacted your looks... life is pretty darn good. The problem is that from what I can tell, 99.9% of the time, the person that you chose at a younger age has very little relevance when you're 25. It seems to me that between those ages a caterpillar/butterfly thing happens and a new person emerges from the coccoon.
It seems that peoples lives change so drastically during those "formative years". It just sort of makes sense that the person you would choose to date at 21 isn't the same person you'd choose to date at 28. This likely doesn't hold true after you get through the formative What's more frightening, however, is something I've noticed which for lack of better term I'll call the "Oh my God, I'm so afraid of being alone let me grasp on to this guy/girl even though he/she a) is not my type b) treats me like crap c) has physical feature X which I find appauling, d) insert other reason here". I guess the more concise term for this phenomenon would be "settling". It's come to my attention that a huge majority of people settle.
Maybe it's because of the age I'm at that alot of my friends have reached, as my friend Andrew eloquently called it, the "give up on your dreams" age. Maybe when you hit some magic age you freak out, and realise that if you don't become more realistic in what you expect in a life partner, you'll be alone forever.
(Kind of like that "Lowered Expectations skit from Mad TV) In other cases it's clearly a convenience issue, where the person you're with or start dating is just a convienient person to have such a relationship with. Is this an example of being with someone so long, that your lives are easier with one another despite not having something more? Or, for example, people who have known each other for years before they start dating and then realise they're madly in love raise the question of whether there really can be a spark or if there's "No one better to date right now. " I guess that theory could be summed at as laziness, that the time and effort spent seeking Mr. or Ms. Right is not worth it, seeing as how they might not really exist, but I'm not sure I buy that completely. In my opinion, settling is more brought on by the fear of being alone forever; but whatever the reason I'm seeing it more and more as years go on.
I realise that no two people are ever going to be perfectly compatible. No one wants to be dating a clone of themselves (well, no one sane anyway). A significant other is only one piece of your life, and no one person should be your "entire world"... what a precarious position to be in really... A healthy relationship recognizes that no one person can give you everything you need in your life, and some of those things have to come from other places in your life, be it work, friends, hobbies, whatever. Some of what I'm seeing and calling "settling" is based on the trivial type of gripes with a partner (for example, dislike of his hairy back, dislike of one anothers hobbies, hating the way he leaves the toilet seat up etc), but others are even more serious examples of incompatibility.
For example, couples with completely conflicting religious views, couples who don't find each other attractive, couples who don't communicate well with one another, couples who want to live in completely different parts of the province/country/world than one another, couples who don't agree on the importance of the instute of marriage, couples who disagree on having children, couples who dislike each others profession, couples who have diametrically opposed world views... I could go on. Settling is more than just having these issues in your relationship. Most people probably have one or more of these in their relationship.
I'm sure we've all dated someone who wasn't what we wanted... heck I dated a neanderthal just because he asked. The problem arises not just in the dating, but when the dating goes a step further... be it marriage, joint property ownership, major moves, having children, and the pre-existing issues aren't addressed. Compromise is always a good thing in any relationship, but it really worries me when people change their entire life philosophies, goals, beliefs or requirements in a mate.
Is this a change of heart, or is this sacrificing who you are for a girl/boy? And what do you do if you think your friend is starting down that scary path? I'm sure Allison was ready to shake me when I mentioned moving to the land of ice and snow some day with neanderthal man, but when is the time to jump in and when is the time to butt out? Is it worth risking a friendship over something a friend will probably come to their senses about in time anyway? When a good friend of mine got up the courage to leave a relationship that he felt wasn't working for him I offered probably the only safe thing to offer: support. I guess whipping a friend into seeing what you might think is plain as day is dangerously impossible when that friend is happy, even if it's naive happiness in your opinion. I know alot of people who are reading this that know me might be worried that "Hey! She's talking about me! " Let me assure you, I'm not. But... on the other hand... if that thought popped into your head... 
