  *sigh* Today was a lazy boring day. I thought I'd be okay with sitting on our butts all weekend not doing a single thing with our spare time...but it turns out I get a lot restless and hate sitting around.
We did get over to the library today, 15 minutes before it closed, and got our library cards...didn't have time to look at any books though of course...so maybe we'll go back, if we're not to busy doing nothing. That's not fair. We do things...not the types of things I imagined I'd be doing when I was 12 and looking into my future...but the things we do are fun and family oriented...I'm trying very hard to be positive and happy about my life. I have a lot of things to be thankful for. We were up until 4:30 a.m. talking about why I'm so miserable and unhappy. I think I scared him when I said all I wanted to do was go home...I think he thought I meant I wanted to leave him and move home...what I meant was, that in order for me to feel like things really truly are getting better for us, two things need to happen...1, we have to have to have to have to have to HAVE TO get married and 2, I need to see my family more than once a year. I thought I'd feel better after telling him how I feel, but for some reason I came out of it feeling a bit worse.
I don't know what to do anymore...I'm just tired of this exhausting feeling in my stomach. Maybe I'm just not being creative enough. I complained that our apartment is always messy, no matter how much we clean it, it's always a disaster...I feel so claustrophobic in here. When we first moved in, it felt big...and it's gradually getting smaller and smaller. UGH, I have to go. I hope everyone had a less-whiny weekend than me. 
