  DJ Shovelpant's Thursday 3 If you could be in any branch of the military, which would you choose and why? Navy. I'd like to be a Navy Seal. You know, do all the sneaky-ass stuff you see in movies. 'DJS, we need you to parachute in, slit this guy's throat and get the secret microfiche. ' Done and done. Plus, they get all the cool gadgets long before any of the regular grunts get their hands on the technology. My only fear is that it might be like when I steal a ream of paper here at the office... I'd be tempted to make off with the infrared binoculars or the armor-piercing howitzer shoulder cannon. Imagine that...a whole group of Navy Seals after my ass for stealing from the office. But yeah, Navy Seal.
If you're going to kill...kill in style. What are your comfort foods/guilty pleasures? Mini Chips Ahoy cookies. Don't ask me why smaller and portable cookies taste better to me. They just do, okay? I also like them caramel flavored icecream Drumsticks treats. You know the ones. Peanuts on top, a swirl of delicious caramel inside the cone. Mmmm....delicious. I'm also in compliance with PB and Duf on the doughnut thing. I need 'em like a hole in the head, but who can resist a hot Krispy Kreme fresh out the box? Not this DJ... The thong movement has passed along an overall benefit to American fashion and the appearance of the American fanny.
Discuss. I think they're delicious. May I refer you to Halle Berry's appearance in 'Bulworth' for further proof? Ay chihuahua. I guess it boils down to this: if you've got a decent dumper and you feel like displaying it, go for it. But...use some tact. 
