  Waging War I've had it and I'm now officially standing up for my cause. If any of you know me very well at all, you'll know I have a severe distaste for smokers.
I won't bother listing all of the things that bug me about the filthy habit because it's been said before. But let's just say this: some people are passionate about peace, other about animal rights. This time I'm not fighting the smokers for myself or any other human being. I'm going to war for the tree. Across the street from our building is a lone pine tree that has to sit at the edge of the property.
It is this tree that every smoker from across the street gathers to engage in their ceremony of stink. All kinds of pigs waddle across the lawn to get to this poor tree to light up, bitch about work, and smoke to their tar-stained heart's content. Now, if you know most smokers (like I do) they don't bother disposing of their filthy habit properly.
Take a drive on the freeway for example. How often do you see some asshole fire a butt out the window because he doesn't want to 'stink up his car' or 'surround himself in his disgusting weakness? ' The same applies for the poor pine tree. They fire their butts on the ground and pollute the poor tree with their rancid smoke screens. So, what I'm doing is making signs that I'm going to put in the ground next to the tree. They're going to be high-quality signs that will be laminated, fastened to a pointed stick and inserted into the ground.
The signs are going to have little messages on them that will (hopefully) make the smokers feel like gruesome beasts and remind them of what social lepers they are. One sign will say: Hey Smokers! This is the Pine Tree Talking: PICK UP YOUR BUTTS. I dont want to suffer because of your filthy habit. Another one says: Mmmmm.Delicious Cigarettes. You know what else is delicious??? CANCER. Enjoy Your Day.
-The Tree I'm planning on making 12 different signs. I will plant them one week from today and let the fun begin. Of course, I'll keep everyone up to date on what happens. I can see the tree and all of the sweathogs that go down there to smoke from my desk. 
