  its scary when people you know discuss your life...... i dont know..... while i am totally ok with this, to a point, it is freaking my shit out. when one really really good friend accuses another good friend of knowing more about whats going on in my head it makes you wonder what you are telling whom at all times and who it is going to get back to. make sense? it concerns me that the person who does indeed know the most about my recent history is taking off soon-- for good.
thinking about it sends a very ulcer-like feeling through my body... that is NOT good...... i need to learn to not depend on peoples presence so much. it takes a lot for me to let someone in, and when they are there i expect it to be for the long haul. i dont want it to seem like i am a commitment freak, but i like structure. guarantees. if i invest time and energy into someone, share shit i otherwise wouldnt, learn to care about them, i want to know they will be around awhile.
i guess in this case i knew they were leaving... but i had no intentions of developing the feelings inwhich i did, either.so it goes..... so it goes. its 7:15 a fucking im sitting here thinking on this? course. seems its all i have done over the last few days. killing me softly. i ill haveto snap out of it soon though, i guess........ now on: wilco: what is war 
