  i need to locate the songs ellen and ben by dismemberment plan as well as zak and sara by ben folds. two very tragically great songs i have been digging on these days, yet not getting around to hooking myself up with.
anyways thats right. i am sure i was going somewhere with this.... huum. anyway goddamn they are good songwriters. no eleanor rigby, nor in my life, yet great. ryan adams as well...... he says: "I was the last fucking person in school who'd ever stand up in front of the school and say shit. Do you know what I mean? The last person you'd ever thought. For some fuckin' reason my agoraphobic, shy, freaked-out fuckin' personality drove me to make music and get up in front of people and say all this shit that I wouldn't normally say. It's sort of heartbreaking and sick because every night I get fuckin' nervous and throw up before I walk on stage.
I get fuckin' scared that I'm gonna get laughed off the stage. Sometimes I think I oughta be. " hes a great guy. i also read a good matt skiba quote today. "We are currently living in a place called hollywood. It's in california, which is a state on the west coast of the united states. The united states is a place that allows some of the most disgraceful people in history to buy their way into office and make decisions for millions and millions of people.
" -- brilliant, matt skiba anyways looks like i am rambling... thoughts are more like feelings today, and i cant seem to put them into words. i am going numb. i have a glazed feeling about me. it hurts to smile. everything feels tragic. some call it a funk, i call it reality. heres hoping things will change. now on: smile: i make the dead 
