  im starting to wonder more and more about alex... turns out her buddy jeff she introduced me to, that happens to be from my hometown, was a customer at hastings.... he came through her line and she thought he was a looker so looked him up in the computer and called him... uhh i dont know if stalking is ok. got an email at work today from chad... he was finally assigned his own store somewhere in IL. hes happy, so good for him. good story- so we were at peoples last night seeing GTO play... and we think jeff was slipped a roofie. he only had 4 beers between like 9-2 and by 1 he has falling down and delirious he had no idea what was going on. long story short a guy was kicking the shit out of jeff and humping him from behind during pomeroys set, as jeff is not reacting and screaming about how he feels like hes being raped. so cut to ten minutes later and the guy is still kicking the shit out of jeff from behind, and jeff isnt doing anything about it because hes so fucked.
so i have to shove him into my spot and squeezed in behind leah, where jeff was.... the guy stops being violent and spends 10 minutes screaming to me about how he didnt mean to "hurt me" and how he just wants to "fucking kill that guy. " (jeff) and such. so its bad bar karma i guess to kick the shit out of strange ladies. the moral of the story is i had to save jeffs drunk ass and i dont even like him.
we will see how long it takes to live that one down, considering he doesnt remember anything after 11pm and didnt come down until this afternoon. im getting too old to enjoy the "scene" here. scu asks: do i ever sit and wonder who i am... why yes, i do. i went through that pretty hardcore around this time last year, and i think i am better for it. that explains why i come off as indifferent regarding peoples perceptions of me a lot of the time.
i guess it is hard to explain. but as soon as i felt i figured myself out (to a degree, of course) i felt i didnt have to prove much of anything to the people that are more or less inconsequential anymore. i dont know if that makes any sense. whatever. it is just something that manifests itself whenever im at the brink of having to make a big change.
i guess that means that will be happening again here soon. wonderful. but its good for ya. sometimes. until you make it totally self destructive analysis. that happens more often that not. that raises a question though: is that destructive introspection exactly that, or is it a cowardly lack of enthusiasm in looking for a silver lining. humm. maybe most silver linings are superficial bullshit anyways. so it goes. raging optimism. thats me. 
