  Attention all I know and love. This is what I get for not being able to shut my mind of. It is 2:30 am and I have shit to do, yet here is what I have accomplished thus far: a junior high "If I were..." questionnaire! Thanks Mike now go back to being 26 already. I know, I'm fired. Enjoy. Or delete. Doesn't matter to be regardless. Just spreading the "those were the days... when I had the time and energy to take care of shit like that" love.
-=kg If I were a month I would be: May. Seems to be treating me well. Not too hot, not too cold, not too rainy... nice.
If I were a day of the week I would be: Thursday If I were a time of day I would be: 9:30 pm If I were a planet I would be: Neptune If I were a sea animal I would be: Mermaid If I were a direction I would be: South If I were a piece of furniture I would be: Endtables are nice If I were a sin I would be: Wrath If I were a historical figure I would be: Ghandi If I were a stone, I would be: Rolling If I were a tree, I would be: Probably over 5'2", now isn't that right.
If I were a bird, I would be: Ramona If I were a tool, I would be: Tool: you know who you are If I were a flower/plant, I would be: Eucalyptus If I were a kind of weather, I would be: The eerie "it's raining in the sunshine" springtime vibe If I were a mythical creature, I would be: Unicorn? Gnome? Pixie? Unignomxie? If I were a musical instrument, I would be: Bongos If I were an animal, I would be: Buttcheek monkey If I were a color, I would be: Periwinkle If I were an emotion, I would be: Wonder If I were a vegetable, I would be: Every answer I can think of has a phallic reference, so I choose Brocolli.
Wait.. If I were a sound, I would be: Bong If I were a song, I would be: All On Black- Trio If I were a movie, I would be directed by: Please God not Roman Polanski If I were a book, I would be written by: Myself, of course If I were a food, I would be: PBJ If I were a place, I would be: Rollerama If I were a material, I would be: Vinyl- pink, no less.
If I were a taste, I would be: Bittersweet If I were a scent, I would be: Nag Champa, hands down (right? right? ) If I were a religion, I would be: Zen Buddhism If I were a word, I would be: Uber If I were an object, I would be: The object: of your affection.
(pun... thank you. ) If I were a body part I would be: Ears If I were a facial expression I would be: Confused eyebrow raises If I were a cartoon character I would be: Captain Murphy ala Sealab 2021 If I were a shape I would be a: Square.
Wait..
If I were a number I would be: Three Thank you and Goodnight. 
