  you know, i have been really missing *him* the last 24 hours. walkgn by his place i had visions of popping in or discussions we had in certain places.
im not big in thinking on regret.... everything happens the way it is supposed to so i need to live and let live.... but. someone once told me that your life is fated. actually he once told me life was fated. and that everything that is destined to be, will be.
i do believe strongly in karma. everything you do comes back to you. maybeeven threefold. fate thought- the idea that no matter what you decide to do things will be the way they will be... i didn't like that, and until recently thought it shit and didn't want to believe it. yet on talking to someone and through a number of soul searching experiences it occurs to me that every person you meet who you grow to care for has a purpose and will profoundly affect you in some way if you think about it, and will in fact teach you a lesson.
but is that fate, or just a celestine prophecy? is there just no such thing as a chance occurrance? i do think everything happens for reason. i do. and that all you do effects who you are and what will in turn happen to you. but is it all predestined? and if so, what am i working so hard for? he said it was fate that i go.
i didnt go. did i blow it? was that the way it was supposed to be? one would like to think so. but its hard... this intriguing thought developed from an idea that what we term d�j� vu is in fact not simply a feeling at all, but a memory surfacing, to tell you/to inform you when you are on the right path, (a signal or clue from the gods, perhaps? ) because you have in fact lived this path before, and now that you are reliving it again, you are reminded of this and are being guided to the right choice. or maybe im stoned. 
