  Ain't nothin finer on a Sunday afternoon than a little Swayze/Elliott fisticuff action. urlLink Road House - quite possibly a modern-day masterpiece of cliched storytelling - never fails to delight as a source of completely unintentional humor. The movie features Patrick Swayze in his prime as a bouncer (I'm sorry, a "cooler") with a heart of gold and a penchant for reading philosophy. The entire script is peppered with amazing nuggets of wisdom, including the three tenets of proper bouncing: "One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three, be nice. " (Wait isn't that five things? ) Also Swayze's ass makes quite a few appearances, for you ladies (or gay men) - at least if you catch the movie on cable.
Fortunately I'm lucky to be watching it on TNT, which removes such truly objectionable elements lest they batter and wound my delicate sensibilities. It does still feature: - the anti-Swayze character (complete with dark hair and excessive man jewelry) - the line "Nobody wins a fight," spoken by a bouncer. - the secretly hot female doctor who just can't resist a philosophy major who beats the daylights out of people - Sam Elliott, who is pretty much the coolest guy ever.
- a bad guy with two first names (Brad Wesley) - a truly bizarre last line: "Polar bear fell on me. " I think I've mentioned movies on an above-average basis lately, so this will be the last time I opine on the subject for awhile. Unless I see urlLink Kill Bill, Vol. 2 , in which case I reserve the right to trash/praise it as warranted. 
