  My happiness at achieving Prestige status at work (and the trappings it brings in the form of a new nametage and business cards) was tempered this afternoon by hearing the news that Pam died this morning. Pam was a close relative and friend - but someone I haven't seen in years. The guilt of disassociation and my general inability to maintain connections over time hurt and continues to hurt. I think it makes me a bad person. Naturally I have some duties this evening that negate any plans that I had. However, when someone passes on, you have to do the right thing. I hate myself a little right now. 
