  Back to Normal--Nov. 8, 2003 As usual, it's been a long time since I've written, but I guess lately that's how it's been. When I first started writing, I wrote about every weekend, and now I only write about the ones that impact me or others I'm close to. Oh well. Saturday was pretty good, considering we didn't have our usual worship leader. It's nice having Michael there because things seem to run smoother; people seem to pay more attention. Not that nobody respected Bobby and Scott, but I don't know...Michael's the worship leader, and I guess that's just what we've all adapted to. That's not a complaint at all, just a thought. I think it's interesting how things seem a little lacking when we realize how much Michael really does lead us , not just the congregation.
When he leads, he ministers to us , not just sings to the congregation. Anyway, so yes, worship practice was good, because, after all, Scott does know how to lead. The more I play, the more understanding I gain from it. Michael and I often have this little disagreement about playing with knowledge vs. playing without it. But the thing is, I seem to have some sort of faith complex when it comes to just getting up there and playing whatever I hear. Michael is constantly encouraging me to just step out and play it. I say, "Sure, I'll play it...when I know what those notes are. " I'm afraid it's one of those circular arguments, but everytime we talk about that, I'm more encouraged to do it. Just step out and do it. So I pray about it and know that God is building it up in me, and every practice, I seem to be playing with a new piece of musical know-how in my head that I wasn't aware had been there before.
Perhaps it's always been there, perhaps it hasn't. For instance, during worship, the actual worship with the congregation, I couldn't really concentrate on what I was playing as much because Bobby wanted me to sing. So one song, a slow one, it was just music, no vocals, and I listened to the guitars. I could somehow hear them more. I don't know if it makes sense as anyone reads this, but I could hear the individual notes more clearly. I couldn't quite place which notes they would be on my keyboard, but I knew the general vicinity, and if it was a black or white note. That's never happened before...the best you could've gotten out of me was which octave it was in, and on my keyboard, there aren't even three.
So to all who belong to the "Erika needs to improvise" club, it really is happening. I think God made me not to be an impulsive person, but one who does things only when she's sure it's right. Either that or I'm just a total wimp. Whichever. The worship time as a whole was good. It was missing Michael's playing and singing, but Bobby, Nicole and Scott did a good job working together to make sure there was never anything truly missing. I was really surprised later, because I was praying with someone, and Bobby stepped up and sang for a while after the message. As usual, he did very well, even though he thinks he always sounds like crap. So anyway, I think that the night was really good for everybody...we flowed well and learned new stuff.
I recall something someone said to me when I think about our team: God tells us to renew our minds, but He never tells us to stop. Maybe we're never supposed to stop growing, and although James isn't with us all the time, and Michael wasn't there that night, things are feeling back to normal. ~Erika <> 
