  Guilian got her results today. She's feeling so disheartened because she truly believes that she will be getting 3rd class honours.
Makes her doubt herself a little, I believe. She now has a choice whether she should file for graduation (deadline is this Fri) or to continue and get a 3rd class next yr. This brings back some memories on my thoughts and feelings about getting 3rd class. I remember doing badly after yr 2 (technically speaking it's my first yr because I actually skipped 1st yr and entered 2nd yr of the degree programme), so I had to repeat 2 modules.
That delayed my studies by 1 yr because in UK, exams comes only at end of academic year. Read some comments on her OD and I can see the expected comments she's probably getting from most of her friends around her. Things like "No lah, not worth the extra 1 yr lah - for 3rd class", "3rd class pay and Bachelor/Merit degree pay no diff lah", "wat for".
Problem with us Singaporeans is that we think too realistically. We can't take failures man. I think it was DPM Lee Hsien Loong who said "If you are totally focused on your studies and other preoccupations, then perhaps you are sleeping but not dreaming. It is time for you to wake up and dream. " Just an extract that was given to me last week (coincidentally). One thing I can relate this to is Aikido. It's like when taking grading tests. It's not a paper chase. So what does it matter if it takes us 10yrs to achieve Shodan. Now, if what I want is a black belt, I can get that in 10min. Just pop down to the sports store down the corner and buy one lor. But if I want to learn something from Aikido, it's a different story.
Sorry, I digressed a bit (it is MY blog afterall wahahaha!). My thoughts on the belt system in Aikido. Being a senior coloured belt don't mean you are better than one with a junior coloured belt. It only shows you the length of time, effort and commitment you've put into training so far. I believe results are the same way. But most of us take it as a "I'm better than you" kind of system.
Face it, no matter how good you are, you will never be the best because somewhere along the line there's always someone better. The moment you think that you have achieved a certain mark, that's when you will stop improving. No point comparing your results with others. If you get 3, there's someone wif a 2:2. If you get 2:2, there's always one with a 2:1. If you get 2:1, there's another with a 1. If you get 1, you think that's it? Oh pls, there's always someone stronger/better/richer than you in someway that will make you look at him/her and just go "waaahh!!
" in awe. We're so trapped in the paper chase, results status and all that we forget wat on earth we are doing in Uni. That aside, I don't have any delusions about why I studied what I did. For me, after 3 yrs of Computer Studies in Poly, 2yr-3yrs of Comp Sci in Uni, I've arrived to the conclusion that pure hardcore IT work is not for me. Though it took me almost 6 yrs to arrive to this conclusion I still never found it a waste. Where are you rushing that you can't afford 1, 2 or even 3 extra yrs of your life? It's not how fast you get something that makes it memorable. It's the process and how you get it.
My mom has a bad habit when we go holidays. She likes to make it as cheap as possible by rushing to as many places as possible, reach the entrance, take a photo to show "I was here", if admission is chargeable then leave and go to the next spot. I kept telling her it's not reaching the places that count, like in a touring marathon. It's enjoying the places you've been. Even if you stay in one spot but you're able to truly enjoy/appreciate the really simple things it has to offer. I tell you, you will remember it as one of the most memorable holidays of your life. The things I picked up those 6 yrs? Life overseas, Aikido, friends. All precious and things that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.
I think I deserve everything I have now. If I didn't work hard enough for some things, what I get at the end of it is, well ... mine. The good and the bad. Everything is relative. I can't just expect the good things and shun the bad right. That's not how this reality works. You take the good with the bad. Balance, yin and yang, positive and negative, chaos and order, etc.
The only thing I regretted when I kokked up my 2nd yr was that I actually spent such a huge amt of money in UK that yr and not work hard enough. Sure I was guilty, but I had to get over it. Harping on it only holds me back. So thinking about this, I suppose that explains why I'm really quite happy with my 3rd class. I've managed to endure through the whole process of things. Graduated too. Sure, during graduation I was the last few person to collect my results. Basically everyone at the convo can tell that I'm a 3rd class student. But I can tell you, when I see the fellows behind me.
I feel elated that I had chosen to complete the whole course when I did. It's nothing about ego - not being the worst / being better than some others. I still felt really proud to put on the gown and being present for graduation that day. It was 1 heckuva moment for me. I still stood tall and proud. You have to know and recognise what you have achived in order to do that. Acknowledge your failures, accept them and you will recognise your achivements as well. I can only hope each one of us really think about what we want.
When we know it, we will then know what we need to do next. 
