  25 years old today! Quarter of a century old!! Oldest person among everyone in the house now!!! Was feeling a bit crappy yesterday until the later part of the night. The (3) guys removed my top and carried me outside the house. Thank goodness they were decent enough to leave my bottoms on.
Of course, could be the fact that I didn't quite struggle against them. More you resist, more tempted I'm sure they'd be to carry out a more ... er ... vicious 'sabo' session :P Hmm being my birthday and all, my mood today has been good. Weather's all nice and sunny and I hope it'll remain like that for the rest of the day. Sigh, I think the people around me also has a sorta positive impact on my mood as well. OK, had to go up to my room and 'act blur' about the cake they're going to make for me today. Touched.
Really. Usually I'd not even bother about my birthday. Last time I tried asking people out was sometime ago in Poly. Wasn't particularly fun then either with people being late and all that. Shucks... Well, let me just set some record straight about stuff that I've blogged about previously. Some may seem downright nasty and all that about people I've came into contact with, that's why I'd really like to re-evaluate my expressed opinions at the time of blogging.
urlLink Monday, November 25, 2002 About the websites of Aikido clubs in Singapore. No offence intended but my opinion still stands, but please bear in mind some of these sites have seen some other changes by now. urlLink Wednesday, December 25, 2002 About the 2002 X'mas dinner at my accoms. Think whatever reaction I had then was clearly exaggerated to a certain extent. I do still prefer that dinner can be an affair where each and everyone of us are able to sit down and eat comfortably. Well, I suppose a certain level of discomfort to squeeze slightly more people around the table is still acceptable lah.
I'm still unhappy that I do not speak up about things that I may feel pretty strongly about. But I'm also now aware that staying with other people is about a level of acceptance and telerance with each other. There are things people can't stand about me as well. Give and take lah. Part of the reason why I wasn't too ecstatic about the party was because I didn't feel comfortable mixing with the crowd. Granted, I'm not a very socialable person and I do sorta 'pick' the people I mix with.
I think 1 thing I need to work on is being more sincere like how Daniel is. But of course, things like this calls for some kind of moderation too as that doesn't mean mixing with every Tom, Dick and Harry (no offence to anyone by these names). Mustn't let my mood get in the way of my behaviour too often. Think being a certain level of diplomacy is involved in maturing. Important note. I don't mean to direct any unhappiness I felt then at any of my housemates.
I'm glad things happen, for whatever reason. I learn that little bit more each day. urlLink Friday, February 21, 2003 A bit of comment on the girls' volume in the house. Realised that us guys get pretty noisy as well. We're no different / better. Just give and take and be considerate to everyone.
But of course, we need to be frank and tell each other when anyone feels bothered about the noise level. Everyone in the house is reasonable. To be the 'nice person' and make yourself take things lying down is kinda unnecessary because if the other party knew that he/she/they was/were a pain in the butt, the party involved will just control a bit and make the necessary accomodation. Everyone in the house is nice. There shouldn't be a problem speaking up and talking to each other about how we all really feel. urlLink Monday, March 03, 2003 About my breakup with my ex-gf.
Think it was all for the best. Wish we can be better friends then we are now but I think there is a certain amount of resistance in both of us at this point. Wish things weren't like this but until each of us start to think and behave differently, there definitely won't be any improvement. At the very least, we are still seeing each other on and off when she comes over for dinner. urlLink Month of March, 2003 Realised my mood was really atrocious and unforgivable the period just after my breakup with my ex-gf. I seemed to be taking out any resentment I felt on people around me, most often on 2 of the girls in the house.
I'm so sorry for that but I'm also really appreciative of how tolerant my housemates were. Self reflection ar, ah-boy! urlLink Friday, March 14, 2003 About cooking. Really need to point out that I'm one of, if not the, laziest person in the house when it comes to food. But as time went on, I realised a point Justin pointed out, it's a real moral booster to be able to look forward to coming back home to a good dinner. No doubt I don't feel as strongly about food as some of my housemates do, but I guess putting a bit more effort into cooking wouldn't hurt anyone.
I guess sometimes I just feel at a loss about how and what to cook because I obviously don't cook as much as the other guys. Maybe asking for a bit more help would be a good start. But I'm figuring, with the exams coming up soon and so little time left that'd we're staying together, there may not be much of a chance. See how lah. Anyway, just liked to point out that irregardless of how cheesed I might have sounded in that blog, I'm really quite alright with everyone and their expectations. Like I mentioned, everyone here is reasonable.
I've not came across a really unreasonable request yet. Sunday, April 06, 2003 [ Try urlLink link 1 , or urlLink link 2 ] About meeting this new 'someone'. I can't say for sure it's not a crush, neither can I say that it is. I can only say that I really like what I've seen and know so far. From my previous relationship, I've basically came to realise a lot of things I really 'do not want' in a partner. With this new girl, there are none of these bad qualities and tons of good ones.
Naturally I'm greatly disappointed she's not the least bit interested. Neither can I say for sure that things will definitely work out between us in a positive way, but if she was willing, God knows, but I'll give it my utmost and best shot at the chance. These days, I'm constantly blowing hot and cold around her. Want to be a good friend but when I feel that I'm getting too close I really need to cast myself a bit further just to keep my emotions in check. I'm still really happy she's not been mean or unkind to me so far. In fact, sometimes I don't feel any of the awkwardness of the situation all thanks to her.
It's hard to control these things I suppose but I thoroughly respect her for her decision. I know she has her own problems and as much as I'd like to share her burden, I know that it's not my place to decide if she has to share things with me. In my poly days, I learnt a particular lesson with another classmate of mine in an almost similar situation: - If I can't be a help to her current situation, the very least I should / could do is not BE one of her current problems. I still stand by this belif even after so long. I'm no saint or angel that I'd try to be so wonderful or 'wei da' in Mandarin. But I just think it's really worth it sometimes to make some people happy at my own expense.
I may be criticised for being a fool or a love-sick idiot but there's no changing the fact that given another 100 times, I'd still choose to do the same in a similar situation. There are just some people that I know who are truly worth making an emotional sacrifice. I basically do not want to jeopardise the friendship that's available now by even attempting to bring things up to another level (not that there's even a hint of hope). I'm happy with the way things are now. A summary of things now, I love all my housemates. Nice wonderful people and I've learnt so much from each of them.
They're all so unique and special in their own way. I love Aikido, and looking at the way things are, it's the only thing which never gives me any pressure in my everyday life (well, that is, if you overlook the occasional physical bumps and bruises one may get during training). 
