i have so much to write about and all these thoughts going through me head and no clue on how to write them all down im just so sick of
all the shit my dad puts me through i dont do fucking anything to him and he treats me like im nothing its like he doesnt care he thinks im such a disappointment and i dont even no what i do wrong it hurts knowing ur dad doesnt care about and has no love for u at all he keeps pushing me away like he cant wait to get rid of me he keeps trying to make me "independent" and i hate it im only 15 years old im not
even old enough to drive or get a job let alone do things on my own i still need help learning things he still has 3 years until he can kick me out and never have to deal with me agian im not ready to leave on my own im scared and her not helping hes only making it worse i hate the feeling of being alone and thats what i feel right now i still need someone and im always going to and hes not there for me and
its tearing me apart i have so much bottled up rage that i dont know what to do with i dont understand y he thinks im such a bad person i do every little fucking thing he tells me to do and i dont understand y he feels so negative towards me i dont get it im so sick of
him putting me down and making me feel like shit every fuckinf day he puts me down i have all this emotion and hurt feeling boiling up inside and i just wanna kill someone one day im just gonna leave never come back ever agian i want to leave so bad but theres something holding me back i could so go live with my mom but thats a whole other story i dont want to get into i feel like i have to compete for my parents appreachiation its ridiculous
but i no i just have to think about all the positive things theres people that have it so much more worse then i do im not homeless my father doesnt beat me im not getting sexually abused by some freak so i guess my life isnt that bad but u no sometimes i just think what it would be like if i was dead i mean all those problems people say i cause would be gone and im sure theres people that would be happy or wouldnt even notice but i just gotta stay positive i do have friends that care right? but it doesnt matter how people feel about me im gonna be out on my own sooner than later and its not gonna matter if my parents hated me or if everyone loved me im just not gonna let it get to me anymore and u no
some people say i cause my own depression or im just craving attention but thats not it i have emotions and my feelings can be hurt just like everyone else and this is how i deal with them i might as well live my life up to MY expectations and make the best of it
