  ok well i cant sleep i need to write something is wrong so wrong. im shaking so bad. i have 100000 million thoughts going through by head and they wont stop my whole body is shaking and i keep randomly crying. im hearing things and shit and my head is pounding i can hear the insides when i shake like my whole body looks like its having a siezure like im shaking constantly but randomly like my body twitches or something. its not twitching its more like viciously shakes and i dont no what to do. im so fucked up and have NO ONE literally NO ONE gina is being a bitch to me,
 cassie says i just drink to much and im just being a stupid drunk. but im not even drunk,  kevin is to busy with other problems to worry about me cuz i just annoy him and every one else i could talk to isnt here. i mean i fuckin talked to tim beck about how i wanted to die. thats how despertrate i am. i need help major help.
but i dont no how to get it. i hate everthing. EVERYTHIGN. i hate myself,  i hate my family,  i hate the people i call friends,
 i hate the people i love,  i even hate u. i hate life in general. there is no point in it and i just want to get away. i want to kill myself and get everything over with. but that would be taking the easy way out.
but i dont get it. if life isnt easy then there really isnt an easy way out is there?  o well i dont care im gonna take the non easy or very easy way out if it kills me. haha isnt taht the point life is so confusing and im so fucked up and confusing doesnt help me therefore life is dumb and doesnt need me anymore so life i give up on u and in this game people refer to as life i cheat and give up so ha i win 
