ok i have decided alot today...hmm where to start...ok well i got a job!! yay i no im so excitied i start tomorrow 10$ an hour gonna be great.. my
dad is definitly selling wisconsin and i cried agian its soo sad nobody understands and nobody ever will its like hes selling my life and he doesnt even care i grew up there it was the only place i felt like i belonged and i felt safe there like i was suppose to be there i imagined myself getting old and having my grand kids come there and i imagined dieing there and everything that place is like a part of me ok yea that sounds really dumb but there
is soo much history in that house and that lake and my backyard and everything i love it so much and now its gone i dont even get a chance to stay there one last time the next time i get to go its not gonna be mine anymore and even if i do the boats wont be in there wont be any fires nobody will be around it wont be the same but i guess i gotta let go its only my childhood and everything i live for but
hey its ok....i have realized that i really need to get my porities straight like school and stuff cuz i have been slacking its bad im failing geometry BADLY i have a 51.2 which is BAD i spend to much time doing what i want then what im suppose to be doing...its like sooner then later im gonna wake up and my life is gonna be over and i never accomplished anything...i wanna do something with my life i wanna be known for something i wanna make a difference some how really i do i want to successful and i want my life to be good i want to wake up and be proud and happy im still here and
im useful i dont want to no that im not worth anything im just so afriad im not gonna do anything with my life and i really dont want that...hmm what else....ok this is for real im starting my work out shit stuff today im starting all over like i did last year i dont want to be lazy nad
fat anymore i wanna get into the shape i was before because to tell u the truth i was SO much happier and my self esteem was out the roof and now its 6 feet under...thats another thing i need to stop putting myself down all the time for some reason today i felt realy bad like i was nothing i waste of space i have NO idea y i just woke up and said "damn it teddie ur ugly ur not worth the oxygen u breathe" i hate making myself feel like that but i do it ALL the time and i dont no y i also need to start caring about certain stuff and actually try and quit
slacking off and do what i need to do...wow r u reading all this motivation? jeeze ok well i think im done ill right agian if i come up with other stuff
